Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
asleep at the wheel
I covered some important things that have passed my mind lately.
Being home alone makes me realize how ready I am to be on my own. I know it's not the same cause I'm not paying for bills and don't have all that to worry about but still, it feels great to have this freedom and be able to be this independent for a change. My parents are in Florida til tomorrow or Monday to see if they wanna move there so that's cool. I had Rj, Van, Des, Josh, and Fern over lastnight.. and then when Rj and Des left Megan and Lindsey stopped by. I had a bunch of candles lit in the back and was able to feed people, so that felt pretty good. Though this was the only time I'm probably ever going to get an opportunity to have people over like this, it was nice. There was a rough moments, but I had some talks lastnight and everything feels a little better. I only got a couple hours of sleep but Josh made me pancakes and did some dishes, and him and Van helped me clean up.. so in all it was pretty nice.
Something I've been thinking about is how little I know about people. I don't really judge people badly, I mean everyone does to some extent, but things happen that totally change my perspective on that person. For better or worse, or neither, you never really know someone unless you've been with them for a long time. Just mentioning that because I don't want to write a whole blog on it.
I also screwed up with my dad again. I love my friends, but he comes first and I haven't been being fair to him. Last night we had a pretty long talk and I feel terrible about everything. Strike 3, and he's still giving me another chance and still trusts me. I love my dad and don't want to make him upset, or not trust me. He understands me very well and I need someone like that in my life. Some things are going to change. I mean I'm not going to stop some of the things I do because he knows that I'm not doing it to be a rebel or to affect him in any way, I let him understand all that. I've just gotta be a lot more cautious about some stuff.
I don't want a relationship in high school. No one has done anything wrong, I've just had some bad luck and don't feel like it's really worth it. This is another thing I'm slipping in because I'm not writing a whole blog on it.
This whole time back has been like an emotional roller coaster. I'm fine.. and I'm going to try really hard to keep it that way. I'm very fortunate for my friends that have been good to me and the fact that I am so close to my family. Out of everything I learned in 2008, the biggest one that has had an impact on me is not to take things or people for granted. I didn't make any resolutions but that's something I learned over the year.. the hard way.
If I've said sorry to you, I'm saying it again. I love all you guys. Thanks for being there
Being home alone makes me realize how ready I am to be on my own. I know it's not the same cause I'm not paying for bills and don't have all that to worry about but still, it feels great to have this freedom and be able to be this independent for a change. My parents are in Florida til tomorrow or Monday to see if they wanna move there so that's cool. I had Rj, Van, Des, Josh, and Fern over lastnight.. and then when Rj and Des left Megan and Lindsey stopped by. I had a bunch of candles lit in the back and was able to feed people, so that felt pretty good. Though this was the only time I'm probably ever going to get an opportunity to have people over like this, it was nice. There was a rough moments, but I had some talks lastnight and everything feels a little better. I only got a couple hours of sleep but Josh made me pancakes and did some dishes, and him and Van helped me clean up.. so in all it was pretty nice.
Something I've been thinking about is how little I know about people. I don't really judge people badly, I mean everyone does to some extent, but things happen that totally change my perspective on that person. For better or worse, or neither, you never really know someone unless you've been with them for a long time. Just mentioning that because I don't want to write a whole blog on it.
I also screwed up with my dad again. I love my friends, but he comes first and I haven't been being fair to him. Last night we had a pretty long talk and I feel terrible about everything. Strike 3, and he's still giving me another chance and still trusts me. I love my dad and don't want to make him upset, or not trust me. He understands me very well and I need someone like that in my life. Some things are going to change. I mean I'm not going to stop some of the things I do because he knows that I'm not doing it to be a rebel or to affect him in any way, I let him understand all that. I've just gotta be a lot more cautious about some stuff.
I don't want a relationship in high school. No one has done anything wrong, I've just had some bad luck and don't feel like it's really worth it. This is another thing I'm slipping in because I'm not writing a whole blog on it.
This whole time back has been like an emotional roller coaster. I'm fine.. and I'm going to try really hard to keep it that way. I'm very fortunate for my friends that have been good to me and the fact that I am so close to my family. Out of everything I learned in 2008, the biggest one that has had an impact on me is not to take things or people for granted. I didn't make any resolutions but that's something I learned over the year.. the hard way.
If I've said sorry to you, I'm saying it again. I love all you guys. Thanks for being there
Thursday, January 1, 2009
this years love had better last
Things are a little weird. I've been having ups and downs lately. I'm glad to be back, and I have so much new stuff that there's nothing I could want materialistically. The weather here is great. It was so cold in Iowa no one could even finish smoking. Every trip to Iowa I am more and more appreciative, so I always feel like I got something out of it. I made a few good memories, mostly while I saw the whole side of my mom's family. I would say I regret the trip cause of something that happened while I was gone, but not really. All it did was open up my eyes a little. I'm going to be a lot more patient in getting to know people for now on, so no one gets hurt. New Years was really weird. I get to have the house to myself this weekend. Going to see Valkyrie right now..
Happy Birthday, Tolya.
Done rambling.
Happy Birthday, Tolya.
Done rambling.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
RE: What is you theory on the Past?
This is in response to Crystal's blog. I agree with you on some points. I believe the past cannot simply be ignored, but then that dwells into the matter of giving people second chances. Everyone deserves a second chance as long as they're honestly willing to fix themselves or patch up others that they may have affected. You can't change the mistakes you've made because some things just can't be forgotten. But you can sure as hell do something to show you realize what you've done and that you actually care. It's then in the power of the person you're seeking forgiveness from to take it from there. I just think that if both want to make an effort then in that case anyone should have the right to have a second chance. You shouldn't live in the past, and you shouldn't hold things against people. Grudges are just extra baggage. Really though this is all common sense.
I think your past is how you learn but it doesn't make you who you are. Well, I said that wrong. It does make you who you are, but it's not who you are. Does that make sense? How you act and the opinions you form and your beliefs and the decisions you make, everything you do leads up to how you have turned out. So yeah, your past makes you who you are. But it's all just memories, really.. and a great tool for learning. You can learn to be a doctor, but that doesn't mean you won't switch your major. So what you have decided right now, that's who you are. How you look at things. And tomorrow, that could change. Open up doors and look at how everything has turned out if you need to. That's how some people try to figure out themselves, by reflecting on their decisions and how they have turned out.. or what happened when they made mistakes. But what I'm saying is other people shouldn't really do that, look into your past to figure you out because people are frequently changing their mind up on things, and the errors they made they're most likely sorry for.. don't hold it against them. We're constantly growing. We're not always the same people we were a few years ago. Let go of any prejudices you have against someone and learn who they are now.
The past should not be forgotten, but you should not rely on that in getting to know me. That's my final outlook on this whole deal. My mind changes up a lot. I've also made a lot of mistakes and still do, but I'm constantly learning through the consequences I face.
I didn't read them all but a short, simple quote I liked you had:
"For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment." - Mark Twain
Regret is a human emotion that a lot of people can't do anything about but that's just proof people are sorry. You can't change what they did, but you can forgive them. The future being an experiment just shows how people are constantly changing.
I think your past is how you learn but it doesn't make you who you are. Well, I said that wrong. It does make you who you are, but it's not who you are. Does that make sense? How you act and the opinions you form and your beliefs and the decisions you make, everything you do leads up to how you have turned out. So yeah, your past makes you who you are. But it's all just memories, really.. and a great tool for learning. You can learn to be a doctor, but that doesn't mean you won't switch your major. So what you have decided right now, that's who you are. How you look at things. And tomorrow, that could change. Open up doors and look at how everything has turned out if you need to. That's how some people try to figure out themselves, by reflecting on their decisions and how they have turned out.. or what happened when they made mistakes. But what I'm saying is other people shouldn't really do that, look into your past to figure you out because people are frequently changing their mind up on things, and the errors they made they're most likely sorry for.. don't hold it against them. We're constantly growing. We're not always the same people we were a few years ago. Let go of any prejudices you have against someone and learn who they are now.
The past should not be forgotten, but you should not rely on that in getting to know me. That's my final outlook on this whole deal. My mind changes up a lot. I've also made a lot of mistakes and still do, but I'm constantly learning through the consequences I face.
I didn't read them all but a short, simple quote I liked you had:
"For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment." - Mark Twain
Regret is a human emotion that a lot of people can't do anything about but that's just proof people are sorry. You can't change what they did, but you can forgive them. The future being an experiment just shows how people are constantly changing.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
gobble gobble
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!i don't care about this holiday. i'm going to get stuffed and watch wall-e. in your face jenny craig.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
well, i could if you can try and fix what i've undone cause i hate what i've become
Had a painting party couple days ago with Mel, Van, Haley, Kara, Catie, Gage, and Garrett. Her room turned out pretty cool.. and it was kinda messy. But I had fun. Got my ticket for Iowa... leave the 18th, come back on the 30th. Pretty happy that I get to see my siblings again. I have to make a christmas list, too. I hate asking for stuff but I have nothing better to do right now. Lindsey had her surgery and I think everything went okay. Please pray for her if you do that kinda thing. I don't know what good it does but maybe just thinking about her getting better will help.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween!
My break hasn't been too bad. Went to Savannah a few times and finally got to see for myself how expensive the new Urban Outfitters is. Got some Christmas gifts there anyways, and stopped by Spencer's which I need to go back there. On the way home the third time I went Van bumped into a huge, scary black guy with Desiree's car. They complained to Progressive that they were hurt. What assholes, right? Van "bumped" into them. It can't even be called hitting them. Nothing happened and he had slammed on his breaks. I hate stupid people.
In movies, Angels & Demons looks good :) This would be the sequel to Davinci Code, which I need to read before it's released cause it's sposed to be pretty great.
I'm going to backpack across Europe. Might sound crazy to you, and I'm betting you're thinking that I'm just saying it and I'm not really gonna go through with it. Well guess what, I'm not that person. 3 years from now. Four* people that wanna do it, 1 of which I know is concrete on this whole idea. That's good enough for me.
London -- Amsterdam -- Paris -- Munich -- Venice -- Rome -- Home
In movies, Angels & Demons looks good :) This would be the sequel to Davinci Code, which I need to read before it's released cause it's sposed to be pretty great.
I'm going to backpack across Europe. Might sound crazy to you, and I'm betting you're thinking that I'm just saying it and I'm not really gonna go through with it. Well guess what, I'm not that person. 3 years from now. Four* people that wanna do it, 1 of which I know is concrete on this whole idea. That's good enough for me.
London -- Amsterdam -- Paris -- Munich -- Venice -- Rome -- Home
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