RE: What is you theory on the Past?

This is in response to Crystal's blog. I agree with you on some points. I believe the past cannot simply be ignored, but then that dwells into the matter of giving people second chances. Everyone deserves a second chance as long as they're honestly willing to fix themselves or patch up others that they may have affected. You can't change the mistakes you've made because some things just can't be forgotten. But you can sure as hell do something to show you realize what you've done and that you actually care. It's then in the power of the person you're seeking forgiveness from to take it from there. I just think that if both want to make an effort then in that case anyone should have the right to have a second chance. You shouldn't live in the past, and you shouldn't hold things against people. Grudges are just extra baggage. Really though this is all common sense.

I think your past is how you learn but it doesn't make you who you are. Well, I said that wrong. It does make you who you are, but it's not who you are. Does that make sense? How you act and the opinions you form and your beliefs and the decisions you make, everything you do leads up to how you have turned out. So yeah, your past makes you who you are. But it's all just memories, really.. and a great tool for learning. You can learn to be a doctor, but that doesn't mean you won't switch your major. So what you have decided right now, that's who you are. How you look at things. And tomorrow, that could change. Open up doors and look at how everything has turned out if you need to. That's how some people try to figure out themselves, by reflecting on their decisions and how they have turned out.. or what happened when they made mistakes. But what I'm saying is other people shouldn't really do that, look into your past to figure you out because people are frequently changing their mind up on things, and the errors they made they're most likely sorry for.. don't hold it against them. We're constantly growing. We're not always the same people we were a few years ago. Let go of any prejudices you have against someone and learn who they are now.

The past should not be forgotten, but you should not rely on that in getting to know me. That's my final outlook on this whole deal. My mind changes up a lot. I've also made a lot of mistakes and still do, but I'm constantly learning through the consequences I face.

I didn't read them all but a short, simple quote I liked you had:
"For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment." - Mark Twain
Regret is a human emotion that a lot of people can't do anything about but that's just proof people are sorry. You can't change what they did, but you can forgive them. The future being an experiment just shows how people are constantly changing.

gobble gobble

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

i don't care about this holiday. i'm going to get stuffed and watch wall-e. in your face jenny craig.

well, i could if you can try and fix what i've undone cause i hate what i've become

Had a painting party couple days ago with Mel, Van, Haley, Kara, Catie, Gage, and Garrett. Her room turned out pretty cool.. and it was kinda messy. But I had fun. Got my ticket for Iowa... leave the 18th, come back on the 30th. Pretty happy that I get to see my siblings again. I have to make a christmas list, too. I hate asking for stuff but I have nothing better to do right now. Lindsey had her surgery and I think everything went okay. Please pray for her if you do that kinda thing. I don't know what good it does but maybe just thinking about her getting better will help.

Happy Halloween!

My break hasn't been too bad. Went to Savannah a few times and finally got to see for myself how expensive the new Urban Outfitters is. Got some Christmas gifts there anyways, and stopped by Spencer's which I need to go back there. On the way home the third time I went Van bumped into a huge, scary black guy with Desiree's car. They complained to Progressive that they were hurt. What assholes, right? Van "bumped" into them. It can't even be called hitting them. Nothing happened and he had slammed on his breaks. I hate stupid people.

In movies, Angels & Demons looks good :) This would be the sequel to Davinci Code, which I need to read before it's released cause it's sposed to be pretty great.

I'm going to backpack across Europe. Might sound crazy to you, and I'm betting you're thinking that I'm just saying it and I'm not really gonna go through with it. Well guess what, I'm not that person. 3 years from now. Four* people that wanna do it, 1 of which I know is concrete on this whole idea. That's good enough for me.

London -- Amsterdam -- Paris -- Munich -- Venice -- Rome -- Home

I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking

Last night was Josh's Halloween Party. By last minute changes I just painted my face like the Joker in Dark Knight. I think I did okay, and it looked better today from minor differences I improved on it. Anyway yeah, I love Josh's house. He decked it out with decorations and he had a lot of good food. And we watched Prom Night which I hadn't seen before. Just being on a projector thing makes the movie better than I thought it'd be but it was still predictable. And I had a cookie that said Rip Aaron :) It was goooood. I even ate Van's, haha. Loraine won best costume and I missed the apple bobbing but it's k cause I suck at that.

Afterwards I went over to Lindsey's with other Lindsey and Megan. We watched Incredible Hulk and we all ended up falling asleep there. Woke up this morning, rushed to get makeup back on, and headed over to Van's where him, Rj, and Fernando were waiting. We met up with Desiree and went off to Savannah for her youth group. Everyone there is really nice :) Got free candy and explored haunted halls. Afterwards we sorta ran around, unicycling and what not. I got my picture taken from a couple people and one lady had me scare her friends, haha. We then met up with this kid Matt who agrees that mint chocolate chip ice cream is not the best kind so that makes him my new best friend. Sorry Van. Anyway we all did this compline thing where it was super quiet and had amazing music. And it was really dark. In a church. Funny experience though.

Got the Dark Knight. Disc is scratched but oh well. Thanks Brooke :) Also saw Quarantine the other night. Not great, but it did the job in scaring me and I don't regret buying a ticket so I'm glad I went. Atmosphere of that whole hotel was pretty creepy, and how everyone was totally oblivious that the people were dangerous was kinda bizarre. Oh and Death Cab is....words can't describe. Yep.

Blah blah blah.

if the world's at large, why should i remain?

Tonight was fun. I watched Boys Don't Cry with Megan, Lindsey, and Lindsey. At Lindsey's. Haha. We started Sunshine but no one was really watching it and we had to all go home anyway. Then after met Troy and Katie, where I watched guess what show with Desiree and Van. Van is wonderfully terrible behind the wheel. But that's okay.. I sort of encouraged it. Anyway, The Office wasn't incredibly funny but I still enjoy the series for what it's worth. Look forward to seeing those two again when me Des and Van all go to Savannah Sunday. We're all gonna be wearing costumes (which Van fashionably tried on a few ladies outfits tonight) and go to some cult thing and I'm gonna paint my face like Joker and just have a blast. Saturday is Josh's Halloween party which I'm super psyched for. I'm gonna be a jedi :D and Josh always has wonderful food to eat. Tomorrow, well.. today, I'm hanging with Van after school. We're making velveeta, packing it, picking up Michael, and going on a fun little trip. Looking forward to this long break.

I didn't go to school today because last night as I was burning the edges of my wanted poster for English, the whole dang thing caught fire and set off the alarms. I took a little break in my comfy bed, Megan failed to wake me!, and I couldn't go without my project, duh. So that's why I wasn't there.

The dork I am, I haven't bought a figure in awhile. But I'm kinda wanting this bobble head...

















Ha ha, I don't know. Maybe. I never need these things. I just don't have much else to do with my money. Well, $5 will go to a Dark Knight dvd since Brooke told me today that her secret friend has got it to sell! I am psyched :)

note to self

stop preaching; start listening

To know me all wrong they were

I don't know where I stand religously, but if you believe in a God, then please put Lindsey in your prayers. She had an accident and has to have knee/leg surgery Monday. She's going to be fine, but she's a wonderful person and I don't know why it happened. I think she'd appreciate it very much.

I've done some things that aren't very good through the eyes of some. I wanted to experience all aspects of life, that's all. I'm not a bad kid. I won't really talk about it because it's nobody's business but mine. Anyways, I'm done with that and am now moving on. I'm ready for whatever life wants to throw at me next. Like life after highschool.

I have thought about it a lot lately. The easiest thing to do would be to just take all my scholarship money and attend USCB or some other college in South Carolina that sponsors our school. I'd be living in an apartment because I couldn't handle being at home anymore, but it wouldn't be too tough. I love apartments anyway.. and want one as long as I don't have kids. but yeah. Easy way out, but I'm not sure if it's for me. Another idea is going to live with my sister Erica and go to UNI.. and Van could even come with, ha. Or maybe I'll just move to Hawaii and get into film. It's not bizarre to think about and it's certainly not impossible. Oh yeah, and I also want to go backpacking across Europe after my talk with Buddah.. soooo living with Erica would make that much more realistic :) I don't know, it's all so far off but it's been on my mind lately.

Edit: I failed.

I love you so much it's retarded.

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist movie review

Saw it last night at the 9:15 showing.. this film came just short of impressing me. It made me laugh once or twice and the story didn't really suck me in. They tried to throw in this trendy feel like Juno, but it didn't click the same way. The writer just doesn't measure up to Diable Cody. There's not a lot of music to hear, either. Just some jingles and tunes in all the wrong moments. It didn't fit in the right way. I felt like they were trying to force it on me.. the way I was supposed to react in that part. And it was so obvious that it didn't work. There were a lot of references to gay love, with the Queercore band and the Christmas show, but at least that didn't feel forced. The joke around the gum that dragged throughout the entire film was kind of gross, and even though I know some people get it, it didn't appeal to me. The way they progressed through the events felt off.. like they randomly thought it up instead of brainstorming it all first and planning it. I don't know.. it just didn't feel like there was much reality. And for these types of movies, that's what I need. I need to relate to it somehow. That's why Superbad succeeded so well. You could relate to so many things the characters talked about. It's like they could read your mind and put your thoughts onscreen. One thing I was happy about though was Michael Cera's character. As great as Juno was, his character was much more believable in this film. I'm not sure who Kat Dennings is but I didn't mind her either. The two of them had good chemistry which was probably the film's strongest point. The asian kid was nice to watch with him always having a smile on his face, the best friend giving advice and giving motivation to the protagonist to open his eyes and go after the girl. All in all it's a feel good movie that will make you smile at least once, whether or not it's worth the price of an admission ticket. Maybe save your money and check out Blindness when it hits theaters.

Final Thoughts: 6.5 out of 10

i don't need to reign supreme, all i need are sounds of ecstasy.

Forget everything I wrote. I'm not going to write about my mistakes. All I can do is do my best at not making them again. It may be too late to change some things that have happened, but it's never too late to fix yourself.

you're slow to learn, but you can't win with her no no

Lindsey and Megan picked me up yesterday and we went to Barnes & Noble, where I got to run into Catie :) I ended up buying those first three books, and the last one.. Candy.. I think will be the next one for me to read. Lindsey let me borrow it and I'm probly going to look into it after I finish Perks of Being a Wallflower.

So yeah. I didn't go to school today. Staying up late on school nights and not going to bed at least one weekend day has been killing me and I finally feel better. I hope this helps me get more organized, even though I got my grades back today and they're not too bad! Better than I thought they'd be. Only bad grade is in English. I miss having Wukovits!

I've noticed a lot of my blogs are just kind of rambling on about my day, and it'd be cool if I could write blogs about my beliefs or giving advice, stuff like that. But I can't. I'm always flip flop on all that stuff so I've given up, haha. Oh yeah! And NO MORE calling me before 7. Not even if it's a 2 minute conversation.. I keep forgetting and I'm running all of our minutes. I'd like to talk to some of the people that call, but I can't do it anymore. So unless it's a weekend when it's always free, I'm not going to pick up anymore. Oh! oh! oh! The Office season 5 starts Thursday :) So I'll be at Desiree's watching it!

"I got pulled over by a horse"

Yeah. Last night ended up being pretty cool. I can now officially say I've slept at the beach (with Van, Fernando, Megan, Melanie, Desiree, and Anna). I don't feel like writing about it. Happy Birthday, Anna!

my endorphins are hiiiiiiigh

and I don't know why :) maybe it's this wonderful weather. Or this great music I keep finding. Or the fact that I know some wonderful people. I'm not even sure if endorphins is the right word, haha.

Yesterday I went to Amigo's with Rob and Brooke. I got this massive burrito, like the size of a football! And there was this drink that was soooo good. It was like pink lemonade with cranberry or something, I'm not really sure. But it was one of the best drinks I've ever had. Then after that we went to Brooke's and watched Cloverfield, which thankfully they both liked. I let Rob borrow Dead Rising (which is like Grand Theft Auto on crack.. and with zombies) and he let me borrow Jade Empire and Fable. I don't know why I'm telling you this :) But Van's gonna come over later and play it. And last night was good. We slept over at Lindsey's with her and Megan. And tonight I think me and him are going to the beach to stay the night there with Desiree, anna and melanie. And I get to see more MEgan and Lindsey today!! Only two things bugging me; I don't have my phone cause I probably left it at Lindsey's, and I feel like I have arthritis in my elbows. And I'm desperately wanting to critique a movie.

I'm very happy at this moment. And I'm adding more books to the list. I need to go to Barnes & Noble..

I feel slightly stoopid...

I thought I had everything figured out but I just feel lost again. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like I can't stay at one place. Whenever I get at this peak, I start thinking too much and get jolted back to this weird mood. I'm not over analyzing, I'm just not satisfied. I've gotta work on myself more.. I've changed too freakin much. I'm still the guy with two first names, but I gotta try to be more of a nice guy. Everything else.. it's whatever. I don't know anymore. I don't know what I want or how I want to go about things. Most of my blogs sound so ridiculous because I don't like sharing my entire life with you. But that's okay. I'm doing it for me. Maybe I can start reading more. It's like watching a movie... it just lasts longer. I'll make a list of books that I can cross out when I'm finished reading them. Almost all of these books were recommended by someone else.

(now in alphabetical order)
1984
Angels & Demons
Another BS Night in Suck City
Candy
Crank
Glass Castle, The
Go Ask Alice
Lovely Bones, The
Into the Wild
It's Kind of a Funny Story
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist
Perks of Being a Wallflower
Prozac Nation
Ruins, The
Rule of Bones
Speak
Stargirl
Twilight

tie dye kits and stained fingers!

Actually, the solution to dye stains is bleach :) Might burn a little but it'll come clean off. Not the exact box we used, but close enough.. I had a good day. I'm probly gonna wear my shirt Saturday to the beach or wherever we're going, even though it turned out pretty lame. It's the idea I guess. Can't wait!

"caaandy cane"

Talking about favorite candy leads to a list of favorite candy...

Chewy Sprees.
Reese's Pieces.
Hugs, not Kisses.
Peanut Butter M&MS.
and crunchy ones, but they're extinct.
Whoppers!
Pop rocks on occasion :)
Candy pumpkins. Halloween or not.
Butterscotch candies.
Butterfingers (are always broken).
100 Grand. Worth every penny.
"Circus peanuts".
Watermelon laffy taffy. with the candy seeds.
Wonderfully unfilling Sixlets.
Twix if I'm in the mood.


Candy canes don't make the list.
And chocolate skittles... one of the worst ideas ever.

sleep deprivation

i'm going to be sick today.

take my hand and watch the world go by

So, the other night.. Van saved Mel's life :) It was pretty amazing. Me and Des ("s"!) helped her up but if it hadn't been for him Mel woulda most likely, as much as I don't wanna say it, died. We were like three stories up and there wasn't much to break her fall. So he's now like.. a hero. On the plus side (nothing really sounds too great when you're comparing it to someone almost losing their life) we found a really cool spot to relax at, and it's fun to slide down the rooftops of Sea Turtles! Anna, Mel, Des, Rj, Van, and me all had a pretty good time doing that, playing hide and go seek tag and stuff.

Then last night...it being 7:21 am in the morning and I'm going without a minute of sleep... Lindsey gave me a call while watching Green Street Hooligans, which was turning out to be a very promising movie that I'll have to finish later. Mariah was with her and I wanted to meet her, and hang with the two of them. We ended up decorating Lindsey's place, I owned the two in Guitar Hero, went to Wal-mart for BALLS, and then we took a little visit to the beach where we met Buddah and dipped in the ocean, unfortunately missing the sunrise. Oh, and we went to that Hilton Head diner and saw a lot of strippers. Skanky ones. With boys all over them. I got dropped off maybe 20 minutes ago and now when the two of them are done showering we're going jet skiing! Me and Rye have never been, so it should be funnn. Gonna go try and finish that movie now before I head out. I'm doing all I can not to fall asleep. Bye!

7:41 pm: I forgot to mention about this mexican guy that worked at the gas station next to wal-mart, definitely hitting on Lindsey. He even kissed her, haha.. oh, poor girl. Then he pulled the same stunt on Mariah. But when I went in.... nothing. I felt rejected and annoyed. Anyways, so Mariah became a punk and went to sleep.. we didn't do jet skiing, but Desiree and Van came over to Lindsey's and we played hide and go seek in her house, spooned with each other, and yeah. It was a lot of fun :) And Green Street Hooligans...awesome. yeah, alright...bye!

no school tomorrow!

damnit

I hope you feel better.. and honestly I hope me not being your friend makes you happier, cause it sounds like I've always been in the way of that. I love you..whatever I'm sposed to call you now,

Aaron

telescope eyes, metal teeth

I wish I knew myself better. I always talk about how sure I am of things; my beliefs, my goals, my opinions, my wants, etc. Or at least I act like I know what I'm talking about. Too many times I've given out advice when I should have just listened. And who says what I say is right? People act like there's a thin line between right and wrong, but that's definitely not true. You can't justify what you or someone else made up in the first place. I mean, I guess to some extent there are moral values that should be upheld but even then someone can't say, this is how it should be done. Or this is how you need to act. It's just a bunch of stereotyped bs. I don't want to be called a hypocrite just because my mind is always going back and forth between things, so forget anything I've ever told you. I am so lost.